Mary, Mary Quite Contrary

Words have power.

It's amazing how much what others say about us can shape what we think about ourselves. I was surprised recently at the stories of grown women who could still remember negative things that had been said to them from as early as age 4. Things like "you'll never find someone to love you" or "you'll never be good at school" were not uncommon. Hearing these women say that they could still vividly remember those spoken words clearly illustrated their power.

I do believe in the power of words.

I also believe I can choose to use my words to positively impact those people around me.

Mary wore a pale gray, over sized Disney sweatshirt, which hung loosely on her in an attempt to hide her expanding midsection. Her round face bore the effects of teenage acne, and it was beginning to show the signs of the encroaching years. Her thinning white hair was pulled into a simple, high ponytail, devoid of any attempt to mask its sparsity.

I hadn't really noticed her name until that day at a weekly mom's gathering. On that day, Mary repeatedly interrupted and turned the conversation to herself and her own stories, mostly of offense and hurt. This was not a new occurrence, but it had been escalating each week. Though her shared thoughts were valuable, I could see the possibility of an ever increasing hijacking of future sessions. Mary began to dominate more and more of the discussion.

As the conversation continued and I pondered our dilemma, I happened to look down at her name tag. "Mary," it simply said. As soon as I saw it, I began to think of the most famous Mary that I knew. This Mary at my table didn't look or act like any image I had of that Mary from long ago. Then I realized that sometimes inspiration in not based on logical thought. One thing I have learned over the years is that at times my thoughts are interlaced with impressions which I interpret as God's voice, and I prayed a silent prayer, asking for help with this lady. I certainly did not have a good plan about how to guide her (and rescue our group). As the meeting drew to a close, my thoughts became more ordered, and I decided to make my way around the table to speak with her.

I told Mary that her name was not an accident. Mary, in the Bible, was chosen by God with a unique purpose and destiny. "The same is true for you," I told her. "You were also chosen by God for something very special." I spoke this to her, hoping that my words would be encouraging. I sincerely believe that there is a design for each of our lives. Knowing that and seeking to find and engage in purpose is vital.

Tears began to flow down Mary's cheeks as the reality that she was valuable began to wash over her. "Really?" she asked, incredulous that her life had meaning and importance. I shared a few other simple things with her, as well as some advice on finding the sense of acceptance she was seeking. She sat, pondering what I had just told her. As I walked away, I left with the belief that my words had power to break through some of her insecurity and discouragement and leave her with a new confidence that would minimize the need to continually look to others for affirmation about herself.

Just as negative words have power to shape and form our images, so do positive ones. Adding our belief to words gives them ultimately more power. The Bible says, "The power of life and death is in the tongue." I had several options that day. I could have engaged her during discussions and corrected her publicly for interrupting. I could have resigned myself to the idea that she fit the image of the nursery rhyme "Mary, Mary quite contrary" or that she embodied one of the meanings for her name which is "bitterness." I could have walked away, assuming it was not my responsibility. Instead of all these options, I decided to give life with my words. I took 5 minutes to make a difference, to speak words of encouragement that have the power to displace the negative ones that have obviously been sown into her life.

Weeds grow much more readily than planted seeds, but that day I planted a good seed. The Mary in the nursery rhyme had a garden. In a way, we all have a garden in our hearts, where many words and feelings are planted.

I pray that the good seeds of encouraging words will grow in Mary's heart, and that the reality of belonging, usefulness, and purpose will supplant the insecurity and failure. That is how I hope her garden will grow.

Carpe Diem

This Latin phrase, carpe diem, periodically arrests my thoughts and sets the course of my actions.

Seize the Day.

Live in the moment.

Embrace life.

Take advantage of opportunities that present themselves.

As you may be aware, intellectually understanding words on a page and living in the reality of them are two different things. Life is a continual series of choices that test whether or not our beliefs will be expressed in our actions. A few days ago, I took the opportunity to embrace a moment, and my day turned from blasé to extraordinary. Sometimes the simplest moments in life can leave a powerful impact on your very own heart.

I was awake early for a morning airport run which was followed closely by a school dropoff. By 8:15 am, I had already been in the car for wearisome 2 1/2 hours. When I arrived back home, I was faced with decision points about the remainder of my day. Hmmmm. The toilets certainly were not sparkly and disinfected. The carpets bore the reminders of the numerous feet that pass over them each day. A steady stream of emails were queued and waiting to be answered. There was health insurance paperwork that was nearing an important deadline. The dilemma of a healthy yet tasty dinner was pulling on my thoughts. Merchandise returns had begun to stack on top of the snail mail waiting to be sorted, processed, and recycled. An ever encroaching daily press of maintenance can consume and choke out the energy of the creative life that we all possess. As I pondered the day ahead, the Colorado autumn sunshine seaped past my eyes and bore deep into my soul. It battled with the unchecked items on the To-Do list of which my conscience continued to remind me.

A few months earlier, I had spent several schedule deficit summer weeks collecting information on the Colorado hikes that I wanted to explore. I searched online, borrowed library books, and read local magazines. For residents of the mile high city, outdoor adventures are in abundance, and I had my eye on some great alpine lake hikes, waterfall hikes, and dog-friendly hikes. It was our first official summer in Colorado, and I wanted to be outside. As the summer wound to a close, the outdoor concerts, baseball games, barbeques, mini-golf and poolside relaxation had superseded my long list of hikes. These other events had provided the memories I was looking for to satisfy my longing for family connection, but my yearning for the closeup scenic majesty of the Rockies went unfulfilled.

One quick check of the weather gave further incentive to my budding plan. Today's weather had no chance of precipitation, which for the Front Range and neighboring cities, has proven to be an anamoly with elevation driven afternoon storm systems. There would be abundant sunshine throughout the day. The last potential roadblock crept into my mind: driving time. My afternoon carpool deadline would come before I realized it, so as the clock ticked past 9 am, I realized my decision point was upon me. I seized the day. I was going, and my faithful golden doodle, Winnie, would be my companion.

The hour long drive passed in what seemed like a moment as I drove through golden, aspen-dotted foothills. I could feel my heart lighten as I inhaled the fresh air and scenery. My chosen spot was a place called Eldorado Canyon State Park. Planning this trip was effortless thanks to Day Hikes Near Denver. I enjoyed several hours of picturesque autumn beauty as I gained more than 900 feet of elevation on my upward climb towards 7073'. With my heart pulsing, my endorphins charged, and my face towards the warm October sun, I paused frequently to breathe in my surroundings and meditate on the Creator architect. As I walked, I pondered a recent book I had read called Wild about a woman's emotional and physical journey along the Pacific Crest Trail and imagined I was walking my own version of the trail. It was me and my dog, mostly alone on this day, except for two hiking buddies and a family of three whose descent intersected my climb. We ate lunch at a scenic spot and admired the great continental divide. I attempted to give my dog her first 'selfie' and laughed at her unwillingness to appreciate our stunning vista.

As I returned home later that day, my body was weary but satisfied. My soul was refreshed, and my mind active and clear. I knew that the chore list that still awaited my attention would be tackled with fresh vision and energy, even if it would be one day late. I was recharged and fulfilled, poised to continue what I had now remembered was my wonderful life. We all have opportunites to break from our daily routine to choose a moment or hour that will renew our vitality and vision. It may be a lunch date, an afternoon jog, a favorite movie, or a outdoor escape. Each of us has numerous activities that serve to refresh. On this day, mine was a mountain hike.


I made my choice.

I stopped.

I embraced life.

And life embraced me anew.