Start Anew, and Build Too

It's that time of the year again. Out with the old, and in with the new. It is the natural ending to one calendar and a logical beginning to another. Many people use this time of year to start afresh. All the mistakes and unfulfilled hopes of the previous 12 months can miraculously be wiped away when the clock strikes midnight. Whoosh. A new year. A new opportunity. A new you.

Spoiler Alert. The stark reality is that it is just another day in the continuum.

But alas, the beginning of a new year does indeed provide a unique opportunity. For at least a day or two, it feels like we all have a little more time: time to reflect, time to think, time to evaluate, time to plan. For a few days after the rush of the Christmas season is over, our hectic lives slow to a crawl, gracing us with the chance to dream of all things new.

In response, we make New Year's Resolutions. These proposals can initiate an illusive journey that commences with a clean slate. It gives us a chance to believe that we really can begin (or end) those habits that we believe will revolutionize our lives. Gym memberships skyrocket. Plans are devised for healthy eating. Vows are made to save more money, be more kind, stop procrastinating. Will power is accessed as we silently chant along with the little engine, "I think I can, I think I can..."

But before you break into the mad dash towards 2015, I want to encourage you with something different while it's still 2014.

As you stop and reflect, find something good that was birthed in 2014.

Paul said in Philippians, "Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things." Even if you experienced a difficult year, I'm pretty sure you can find a pearl. Look for that gem, however small it may be.

And then...

Carry that gem with you into 2015, and build on it.

In my experience, it really is easy to start something new. For a day or two. Or even for a month. It takes incredible force, willpower, and energy to keep it going when it loses its novelty. A research statistic that I read recently said that only 8% of people are able to actually follow through on their new year's resolutions and be successful. Yikes.

Maybe you're one of those that begins each year with a hefty, optimistic list of resolutions. I've definitely done that. But sadly, 3 months into the new year, I find that my gusto has fizzled along with the melting snow.

Here's a different approach. What if you springboard into the year with the momentum of something you've already started? What did you do right this year? What can you celebrate and build on? Before you look forward, look at where you are, and look back to see how you got there. Instead of replanting lots of new ideas, fertilize the things in your life that are bearing fruit.

Consider this. Perhaps it's not the right season for some of the things you want to initiate.

I remember several bygone Januarys when I vowed that THIS would be the year for me to start an exercise program. I would commit to myself to start working out regularly. I would envision that I could get into shape. I even invested in the necessary gear to make it happen. Cool workout clothes, check. Yoga mat, check. Dumbbells, check. Calorie burner watch, check. Workout plan, check. The problem for me was that some of those years were times when my kids were little, and my energy level was not only low, it was non-existent. Try as I might, this idea was doomed from the start because my idea of what I could do far exceeded the reality of what was possible in that season of my life. The timing of my great and wonderful resolution was terrible. Additionally, if the truth be told, I did not really want to do it. It was something I felt I should do, or something that would be good for me.

Here's another reality check for you. Guilt rarely produces fruit.

Last year, I decided to focus on starting merely one new thing. I began this resolution immersed in the flurry of new year's electricity that seems to permeate the atmosphere. I also capitalized on the winter hiatus to jump start my change. The resolution I devised was to become an avid reader again. I was that passionate reader many years ago, but I allowed the circumstances of life to ebb away this value expressed in my life. Though I've currently lost count of how many books I've read this year, I can say that I've read a lot: articles, editorials, classics, mysteries, biographies, inspiring documentaries, and many other riveting tales. It felt as if a part of me came alive again. It turns out that this reading resolution was the foundation for another long awaited resolution that didn't begin until much later in the year: writing. As for the exercise routine, my husband is the one who successfully followed through on this positive change. He also managed to be consistent without all the workout accoutrements I mentioned above. As a result, a part of him has come alive again too.

As I go into 2015, I have 3 resolutions. Two of them will build on the things I started in 2014. There has been so much fruit, and I am inspired to go deeper. Only one of my resolutions is new.

Perhaps this is the year for you to gain momentum instead of starting over.

Sometimes we can't make significant progress in an area is because we overlook areas of growth. Amidst our desire to start something new, we abandon our progress and in so doing diminish the fruit that is possible.

As I propel myself into 2015, I have written my private celebration of 2014 on a small stone which I will use as a reminder. It is my memorial stone, my stone of remembrance. I wrote about this in a very short blog almost 2 years ago called Milestones and Memorial Stones. I'm taking my little stone with me into 2015. I have high hopes of even greater fruit in 2015.

Celebrate the goodness of God in what you have accomplished this past year.  As you reflect and make your resolution list, look at how you can take the goodness from 2014 with you into 2015 and build something lasting and something wonderful.

Collect Experiences, Not Things

I remember the Christmas when...

How would you fill in the blank? I would predict that it probably would not be with the name of a gift you got on a certain Christmas. More than likely, you would complete that sentence with a significant memory you have had during this time of the year. 

During the holiday season, it's hard to not get caught up in the bombardment of commercial attitudes. The economic jump start to the season, 'Black Friday', now encroaches into Thursday, Thanksgiving Day, despoiling the focus on gratitude, values, and family. The marketing enticements of sales, lower prices, must haves, and the like can become overwhelming.

I recently read an editorial called Abundance Without Attachment in the New York Times. The contributor, Arthur Brooks, is a researcher in economics, politics and enterprise. Sometimes God speaks to me through the least likely people. This was one of those times.

Brooks made 3 simple points about avoiding the materialism trap. The first point was like a burning bush to me, an epiphany that became even more significant as I turned aside to ponder and listen for its message. It was a straightforward phrase.

Collect experiences, not things.

I've contemplated that expression in the quiet of my thoughts. I've also listened for it as my own family reminisces with laughter around the dinner table. I've smiled as my grown kids ask repeatedly for more of the ordinary experiences that symbolize Christmas to them. Baking cookies, playing board games, seeing Christmas lights, decorating gingerbread houses, attending a candlelight service, watching It's a Wonderful Life, and choosing simple gifts for siblings hold special places in the hearts of our family.

I've reflected on my choices for spending money this Christmas. Aside from ornamental boxes and bows under the tree, does my time and spending reflect this value? Am I collecting memories instead of simply more stuff? 

I believe that I am.

Even my grocery bill mirrors this value. It's not because we necessarily eat a lot or because we choose expensive food options. It is because I understand that mealtimes morph into memories, and their value reaches far beyond the absorption of vitamins and minerals. Our family gatherings around the table are imprinting moments in time. My small investment into candles and tablecloths over the years creates atmosphere in my home that blends into a sensory holiday experience.

We choose to allocate part of our Christmas budget to family outings. Sometimes the jaunts are nearby, and other times they are extended trips. These outings can not be wrapped up or tied with a bow. We're collecting more experiences, ones that solidify relationship, that highlight family, that invite reflection, that create opportunities to see and discuss the true meaning of Christmas.

Yes, there are gifts under the tree, but perhaps more than the gifts, the anticipation of Christmas for us is being together, remembering that we do have a wonderful life, and knowing that our Savior has made a way for us. 

Remembrance is truly powerful, particularly at Christmas. We remember Jesus, born in a stable, as we read the Christmas story. We remember our favorite Christmas traditions, and we relive them. 

One such example of a bygone Christmas experience occurred about 10 years ago. In a well intentioned attempt to thwart the gift counting and comparison amongst my 5 children, I came up with an elaborate letter-number coding system for the presents. Instead of putting names on the gifts, I had a unique 'code' indicating whose gift it was. I was the only one in possession of the decoded list, which consisted of perhaps 20 individualized codes. As you might expect, this brilliant idea did not have the intended effect I had hoped for. Though none of my kids remembers specific gifts they received that year, to this day they will never forget the dreaded 'secret code' of Christmas!

Materialism is not the only thief of the true Christmas spirit. Many have experienced terrible loss or trauma during this season. It is real, and my family is not immune from this. The negative experiences can collect to mar the beauty of the season, for some to an almost unbearable level. If this is your current experience, I encourage you to invest in a new experience, one that will supplant the pain of previous experience. My sister is a beautiful example of this. Several years ago just before Christmas, she tragically lost her husband. December has since been a difficult month both for her and her family. This year, she bravely invested in creating a new memory. She opened her home to family and friends in a simple pre-Christmas drop in party. She allowed laughter and friendship to supplant grief and pain. She collected a new experience, perhaps one that will continue throughout the years. Additionally her daughter also brought joy into a difficult time by announcing her engagement. A time that once held pain and loss now holds hope for the future. 

Collecting experiences doesn't just include what you do with your own friends and family. We are fortunate for be a part of a school in Denver that focuses on giving. In the last 2 weeks, our school collected over $3000 in loose change, and through additional small donations of less than $5, raised enough money for 25,000 meals for the hungry and homeless in our area. My daughter was one of those that helped to pack the meals. 

Jesus was very clear on collecting things.

"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys, and where thieves do not break in or steal; for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."

I imagine that first Christmas night was full of sounds, smells, and sensory life. The emotions, the people who were there, the things that happened. Yes, there were gifts given, but it was the experience not the things that defined this day of all days. That is our example as we live out our own lives.

I believe we can have a small part of heaven here on earth, with God inside of us and His value system affecting ours. I hope you will further your collection of experiences this season.

Love deeply, and focus on what is truly important.