Snippets of Time, Woven Together

In computer terms, a "byte" is a small grouping of 8 bits (the very smallest unit of information). Historically, it was the unit that symbolized a single character on the keyboard. For example...

     L

However, something really amazing happens when you put several bytes together. You can get... 

     Life

Wow. Simply integrating more than one byte creates a completely different unit and thus a different thought and emotion when you see the individual elements combined together as a whole. Imagine what you can see or create using today's standard in computing. As a rough estimate, 1 Gigabyte = 1,000,000,000 bytes. That's a billion characters! Most of your computing devices have at least 32 GB and up to 500 GB of possibilities.

In a similar comparison, a snippet is a little fragment. It is brief, and it is a small part of something. It represents a moment in time, but it is not the whole. Time, on the other hand, is a continued process of existence. It includes you, but it also precedes you and outlives you. It is now, and it is then.

You see snippets all the time. Social media is a fun way to showcase the pieces of your life and view many, many moments of others' lives. It gives you a way to see what is happening with friends or acquaintances from near or far away. Distant grandparents can enjoy their grandchildren. Graduations, weddings, births and other milestone events can be celebrated. Even daily events can be showcased. I got a new haircut (selfie moment). It's my son's birthday. Starbucks has PSLs! The Broncos won (again).

I've been thinking of how these snippets are kind of like "bytes" of time. They are short and exist for a day, a week, and then they slip away. A snippet by itself is cute, interesting, or funny. A collection of snippets over a period of time gives perspective. It gives a more expansive understanding. It gives endurance. Snippets can form a tapestry of time in the shape of words, sentences, thoughts and pictures that elicit memory, emotion, and reflection. This collective expression also has the potential to provoke enduring gratitude.

Recently I began the process of converting my digital tapes to DVDs. In the olden days (i.e., the 1990s), we used a camcorder with video cassettes to capture significant events. A little here, a little there, until you had a single tape to watch that captured some highlights of a year of your life and the lives of those friends and family closest to you. It was a tangible expression of memory, and thus, a catalyst to remembrance. The tapes also demonstrated a sequence of time, maturity, and growth. They displayed 'what was' compared to 'what is'. They showed how far we had come. Watching the progression established not only advancement but also affirmed purpose and vision, particularly during the very busy days with young children. You had a chance to say, "Yeah, we're are building something here, and I can see it." The day-to-day journey became a life journey, and the leap to appreciation was not so much of a leap anymore.

With a smile, I reminisced my technological journey. The telephones in my childhood home were connected to the wall with a curly cord that limited my mobility (and my privacy). If I wanted to take pictures, I had to visit the local drugstore and buy 110 film which always turned out grainy and shadowy. Processing film could take days or a week, but completing the pictures on a roll of film... now THAT could take months or more if your life happened to be particularly boring at the time. By the time you took the film to be developed, you had forgotten what was on it! Polaroid cameras were a huge step forward, as they allowed you to take only 1 photo and "instantly" see your photos (mere minutes were "instant" to us). 

In high school, I enjoyed vinyl albums, 8-track tapes, and cassettes. Without enough money to buy all the albums containing the songs I liked, I would sit by the radio with my cassette recorder and wait patiently for my favorite songs to come on, quickly pushing the record button in order to have access to these songs whenever I wanted to listen to them. No one I knew owned their own computer. We used the computers that were available at school.

Well, things have changed a little, and I am so thankful for the technological advancements. I love my smart phone and DSLR camera. The CDs which were so awesome in my college days are quickly becoming extinct as Spotify and digital downloads replace them.  I'm so grateful to now have my own computer, flash drives, and dropbox. You can get access to any song, video, photo or application for less than the cost of a sweet tea from Chick-fil-a and much more quickly than any Polaroid picture.

In the Twitter world, less is definitely better. In fact you have a maximum limit of 140 characters to speak your mind. Snapchat's appeal is that the photos are there for a short time and then they vanish. No storage space required. No lasting memory. The wireless way of the future is upon us. Bulky stereo players can only be found in the attic or at a garage sale. VCRs have bit the dust (good riddance). Telephones that take up valuable counter or wall space are quickly becoming a thing of the past. 

In the midst of all this wonderful technology, there are questions that plague me for our present generation. Are we losing something of the beauty and richness of the preservation of the whole of time in our pursuit of the celebration of a moment in time? As we walk the road of instant communication, are we losing the ability to step back and see the big picture? Are we setting ourselves up to forget?

November is the month we try to focus on remembering and on thankfulness. It is a month that can get lost in the seasonal transition from fall to Christmas. In like manner, I wonder if we are getting lost in the technological transitions. Despite the amazing technology that allows me to write and post this blog which can be read by hundreds of people in a moment of time, I'm curious about how we, as a generation, maintain a long-term approach to time. 

Today, as you post that 10 second video, Instagram your favorite photo, or tweet your thought for the day, consider taking the time to invest in the preservation of those memories. A photo album or an iMovie compilation of clips can give your future teen a cool look at their childhood odyssey.  A personal journal or blog can be a lasting testament to everyday thoughts and feelings as you walk through both joyous times and difficult ones. Yes, it takes a little more time than a post. It is an intentional investment of time, but in my opinion, a worthy one. It is a way of living in the moment, while reflecting on the past and building for the future. 

You can create something bigger than the moment, something bigger than yourself. Not only will it afford you a more significant perspective of time, it will capture and preserve small moments of time and weave them into a beautiful picture. You can take the 'L' and transform it into 'Life.' Something for you. Something for those who enjoy life with you. Something for those who come after you. A legacy that remains. A legacy of time and of gratitude.

Teach Me to Number My Days

In today's technological world, there are tracking devices to count virtually everything. Considering this fact causes great happiness for the math lover inside me. Numbers are everywhere.

How many steps are in my workout routine.
How many calories I've consumed at a meal.
How many likes I've had on Facebook.
How many days in my credit card billing cycle.
How many days until Christmas.
How many days it's been since I posted to my blog.

Ok, so it's been awhile since I've been online, writing for this blog. Here is my overt, non-apologetic defense. A lot has been going on in the last few months, and I've been actively participating in every moment of it.

To recap the highlights... I've watched 3 of my kids graduate: one from middle school, one from high school, and one from college, along with all the festivities associated with each. I've packed, moved, and unpacked in a new house. I've taken a traditional mother/daughter trip, precariously scheduled at the last possible second. I've planned and enjoyed our last full summer and family vacation with all 5 kids still living at home. (Sigh...) I've traveled to the east coast and to the west coast to help my kids transition into the next phase of their lives. I've taught my daughter to drive a car (which means I've also amassed a few more gray hairs). I've helped my other daughter recover from wisdom teeth removal. I've hosted an Australian friend of my son. Oh, and did I mention that I moved, attended high school graduation, and recovered my escapee dog who was roaming the neighborhood in the pouring rain, all on the same day??? That was the same day I think I had an emotional meltdown. I think you get the idea.

And then I took a breath.

I remembered a scripture that took on new meaning for me this summer.

"Teach us to number our days, that we may present to You a heart of wisdom." (Psalm 90:12)

My days are numbered. Your days are numbered.

I began to consider and ponder what that meant. If I were to go to the doctor and he had said to me, "Angie, you have only 6 months to live," how would I approach that 6 months? 6 months is definitely a number of days. To be exact, it's 180 days: a finite, soon-to-be-gone number.

So what is different about my life now as opposed to that hypothetical scenario? My true reality is that I have only a definite, specific, soon-to-be-gone number of days left on this earth. The difference is that I don't know the exact number of those days that I have left. Perhaps it's 20 years, or approximately 7,300 days. Perhaps it's 7 years or only 7 more summers. Perhaps it really is 6 months. 180 days. I do not know the exact number of my days. But I do know that they are numbered.

If you know that you have only a certain number of days to live, it affects your perspective, your outlook, your choices. You realize that each day is a gift, and that we all can make decisions about what is most important and how we choose to spend our time.

This summer, my first born child became a fully independent adult including a having a full-time job, an apartment, and insurance. That's the real indicator of adulthood: not the fact that you have attained to a legal drinking age, but that you have auto and health insurance. Congratulations. You are now an adult.

Additionally, this week my last child entered high school, and I began my 10th year of being the mother of a highschooler. I must admit that I was counting down the days of middle school. Just like toddlerdom, the end of middle school days could not come fast enough for me. Even so, it seemed like just yesterday that I was buckling up a carseat or reassuring a crying infant in the middle of the night.

Then I blinked.

Our days are numbered.

Though that realization of the finite quality of our life is vital, the next part of the scripture holds the most powerful insight for me. When I realize that each day is a gift, God can give me a heart of wisdom to purposefully and powerfully live out each of those days. Not only that, we then get to present that heart of wisdom back to Him, as a good and acceptable gift!

There are so many nuggets of truth I could share or thoughts we could ponder in this line of thinking, but I settled on just a few essentials in gaining the wisdom we need as we number our days.

1. Know your priorities and keep them in focus.

It is important to clearly identify your values, priorities and goals on a regular basis. I generally do this at least once a year, usually during the summer. Without a clear focus, the press of everyday life and busyness can quickly choke out the most important things. For me, that meant that my writing would have to take a backseat to my family this past summer because family is one of my top priorities. Remember: you will miss your target if you can't see it clearly. 

2. Live your life with no regret.

In saying this, I am not suggesting that we adopt the "Let us eat and drink, for tomorrow we may die" mantra that is mentioned in Isaiah 22 and alluded to in Ecclesiastes 8. As a follower of Jesus, my desires are no longer just for my own pleasure in life. We all have opportunities to serve, chances to love, places where we can engage fully in a God-ordained moment. There is purpose in our lives and impact that we can have while we are on earth. Those are the places I want to have no regret. As I look back, I want to have seized as many opportunities as I can to do what is in my heart, knowing that as I interact with God, he is inspiring and shaping my desires. My job is to follow these passions and priorities, and thus, follow Him.

3. Be in charge of your life, not a victim of it.

In Philippians, Paul said that he learned to be content in whatever circumstance, good or bad. I believe that contentment also has joy attached to it. If my joy is lost for significant periods of time, then I need to seek a solution to regain it. Pain and difficulty in life do come, but the majority of my life should not consist of suffering. In the list of fruit of the Holy Spirit, joy is 2nd on the list. It is essential as we journey through our numbered days. Not everything that happens in your life is ordained by God to happen. Yes, he is omnipotent, omnipresent, and all powerful, but the world we live in and our mortal bodies are subject to the consequences of the fall and of sin. We need wisdom to know when we are not experiencing all of the life that God intended for us, and the courage to pursue it and make changes as needed when our circumstances don't match up.

4. Reflection and gratitude must be a regular part of your life.

I recently read a list of attributes of happy people. Two of the things on the list were time for reflection each day, and expressions of appreciation. Without contemplation, it is sometimes difficult to realize where we should be thankful. Sometimes it is challenging to find something good in a day. That's where the reflection comes in. On the surface, circumstances may seem dark and dismal. As we look deeper, we will find reasons for gratitude.

Wisdom is personified throughout the Proverbs as a sometime elusive woman who, if found, can make a man wealthy and give him life. I hope to attain that wisdom as I number and consider each day. My resulting heart of wisdom is a gift I can then give back to Him.

Who is He to You?

At the mention of the word "Easter," images emerge in the minds of men, women, and children everywhere. Many of these impressions are based on actual experiences that occur in our lives. Sunrise services, cute frilly dresses, spring outfits, egg dyeing, egg hunts, bunnies, Sunday lunch, and an extra long holiday weekend.

There are 2 times of the year when church, God, and Jesus become more prominent in our minds and in the media than others: Christmas and Easter. It almost becomes a popular thing to do. In fact, the church we attend has issued tickets for reserved seating areas to attend one of their 4 services in a 3500 seat sanctuary. Of course there is still a general seating area, but all of the reserved seating is gone. I expect that all 14,000 available seats will be occupied over the 2 day event. Imagine that. 14,000 people hearing about the Easter story in just one of the many churches within 10 minutes of my home. Going to church is really the "in" thing to do this weekend.

Perhaps your immediate thoughts about Easter did not follow the general populace and you instead thought of Jesus, the cross, and the resurrection. These are paramount in my experience of Easter. It is, after all, the reason we celebrate this holiday.

But here's another question for you to consider as we approach the designated day of Easter celebration. Who is Jesus? Who is He to you?

During His time on the earth, Jesus asked his disciples many questions. One of them had to do with who people thought him to be. I believe it would be the same today if we asked a group of random people, "Who is Jesus?" You would hear a multitude of different answers, just like they expressed of Jesus in the Biblical account.

But the next question is the one that was most gripping. Then He said to them, "Who do YOU say that I am?" A few days ago, I was challenged with this question.

I've been a Christian for quite awhile and I have read the Bible many times. The things that come to mind immediately about Jesus may well be what you think of. He is the Christ. He is the way. He is the truth. He is the life. He is the Light. He is the lamb. He is the bridegroom. There are many more I could say without really even thinking.

But as I took the time to ponder, I found that there are significant personal encounters that I have had that define who Jesus is to me.

He is the omega. He is the end. During a difficult period of my life when I was in constant pain, unable to sleep, and in mental torment, He was there. He did not leave me, and He was my pathway to the end. Those dark days did come to an end, despite what the circumstances and the opinions of others would have led me to believe. He is the omega. He is the end.

He is truth. In the times when I was confused and without answers, and he was truth to me. My mind and the wisdom of the world did not give me the answers I needed, but He was truth. When an expert medical doctor said my daughter might not be able run like other children because of a curve in her leg bones, I went to Jesus for my truth. His truth was that she would be a testimony of His power and His healing. I remembered in gratitude as I watched her run last night and listened to the track coach as he watched her too. He believes she may be one of the fastest runners in the state. Jesus was truth to me when natural truth said otherwise. He says we will run and not get tired. He is truth.

He is the scarlet cord. The scarlet cord was a symbol of Rahab's protection, and the protection of her family, despite the utter destruction and devastation that surrounded her. He is that to me, when people and situations around me have crumbled. My family and I have been protected. Having experienced 2 campus shootings within that last year on campuses within a several mile proximity of where my children were physically located or where they actually attend, my family was protected. I was on one of those campuses just days before the shooting. The scarlet thread that is symbolic of our faith and reliance on Jesus has preserved our safety. He is the scarlet cord.

After quiet reflection and written expression, I created a memorial to express who He is to me. The entire event consumed only 30 minutes of my day. But its effects on my heart and spirit created strength and life that continue even days later. He is life. Living. Right now.

I challenge you to take some dedicated time this weekend. Consider and express what He is to you. Write it down. Create something symbolic of your reflections. Who do YOU say that He is?

Happy Easter.

Framing The Pages of Your Life

If your life were a printed page, what would it look like?

If you were to think of your life as a book from a bookstore shelf or coffee table that you might pick up, what might you see on the open pages?

You might see colorful, creative illustrations dominating the space, intermixed with only a few uncomplicated sentences telling a very straightforward story. The reader is left to smile while enjoying simplistic messages with happy endings.

The book might contain pages with enormous, elaborate photos or paintings, with little to no narrative needed. Flipping the pages in this book would awaken emotions and perspective, much like standing in an art gallery and staring into the soul of its framed inhabitants.

The page of still another book might be characterized by the absence of pictures, instead leaving the imaginative mind to create its own images. Beautiful prose would fill these pages, some set with the smallest of fonts and placed tightly together to maximize the word count per page, because this story is a very long and detailed one.

Yet another book might appear more spread out, with larger typefaces and lots of space, telling a engaging story, an exciting adventure, or a perilous mystery.

Some books would contain ordered sets of explanations and instructions, and their pages would consistently point you towards your goal, making sure to remind you along the way of your progress and encourage you towards the finish line.

Of all the various printed pages you might envision, there is a common element to each that determines a reader's overall ability to interact with and process the content of the page. It might be an element that you have never really noticed or considered. That element in the visual arts world is called white space.

The effective use of white space can dramatically alter your connection and experience, as well as the power and impact of the page.

In the typesetting world, margin refers to the space on either side of a printed page. When you read, having plenty of white space allows you to focus on what is important without being overwhelmed. Margins allow us to define how much we can absorb at any given time. As I think about books that are easier to read (aside from actual content), the result is those with significant amounts of white space both at the top, bottom and sides of a page. There is also breathing room between the lines on my ideal page. I enjoy getting through the pages quickly which means that the lines are spaced out, not too cramped together. There is time along the way to absorb, process and connect. There are central images that are crisp and clearly defined.

On pages with too much text or illustrations, the result is a jumbled, busy, muddled mess, blurring the individual words and phrases into a sea of letters that lose their meaning. It is tough to figure out what your eye should focus on when you encounter a page like this.

White space allows time for the eye to capture and the soul to digest.

Margin in your life is also a critical element to framing the things that are most important in your life story. It refers to the peaceful space that surrounds the volumes of activities that can dominate your life. It is the quiet moments of reflection, connection, and re-energizing that feed your emotional and spiritual self. Margin refers to those times where you are not overwhelmed with words or tasks.

As a society, we tend to busy ourselves with a variety of noteworthy and valuable endeavors. Creating margin enables you to avoid becoming a cluttered mess of incessant activity. It allows you to frame and focus so that you can see what really matters.

Perhaps you find yourself saying along with Job, "I have no peace, no quietness. I have no rest; only trouble comes." If so, you might consider adding in some white space.

But remember. Margins are not automatic; they must be created.

You must be intentional to create space around all the activity and busyness of your life. I find that margins for me occur best in the beginning and end of the day (like the top and bottom margins) and then spaced throughout (mid-morning and mid-afternoon serve as side margins). The time allowance for a margin can be as little as 10-15 minutes. Small amounts of time specifically set aside for rest and reflection can have a profound effect on your overall well being and productivity.

A wise friend of mine once told me that we can not operate at 100% capacity. Our maximum potential productivity falls somewhere below that, with the upper limit of about 80%. An attempt to operate at a higher level than our capability does not increase our productivity. It only increases our weariness. We can try to function at 100%, but it will only produce exhaustion.

Such is the idea of your printed page. Do not try to fill it to 100%. It will not be attractive, it will not be useful, and it will not be a work of art. Instead, fill a fraction of the page and leave the rest blank. Each page will be unique, with some containing more words and illustrations, and some with more white space. Remember, you are writing a life story, not just a single page.

Whatever you find when you look at the current page of your life, whether it is an extravagant work of art, a poetic verse, or a imaginative story, be sure that you frame it with plenty of white space and margin. With that margin, the true beauty of your originality can be showcased as the unique expression of your story unfolds, and you will enjoy the benefits of less becoming more.

Is It Spring Yet?

In a survey that queried readers on their favorite season of the year, fall triumphed as the favorite season of Americans, with 29% responding that they prefer an autumnal climate. Spring and summer achieved enough votes to rank equally as preferences. As you could imagine, winter and its icy chill came in last place, preferred by only 7% of the people surveyed.

When the first virgin snowflakes begin to fall or when you experience mild and infrequent wintry conditions, it is exciting, beautiful, magical, and oh such a wonder! But when you are confronted with cold temperatures, sunless skies, and feet of snow day after day after day, winter loses its novelty.

Finding myself in the dead of winter in Colorado, with the mercury displaying single digits and nearly a foot of snow on the ground, I am tempted like many others in very frigid climates to complain about the cold, the snow, and the ice. Though many don't like winter, the amazing rotation and tilt of our planet makes it inevitable. It is not only inevitable, it is necessary to the balance of our ecosystem.

Seasons exist not only in nature but within our lives as well. In addition to a sunshine filled, fruit producing season of summer and a bountiful harvest time of autumn, winter usually expresses itself at some point during our lifetime.

In the natural, winter is characterized by cold temperatures and reduced sunlight. Plants stop growing and animals hibernate and slow their heart rates and metabolisms. Reproduction during this time of the year is minimal because most young plants and animals could not survive.

What does winter look like in a person's life? I believe that it can be characterized by loss and grief. It may involve relationship challenges. It might involve extended sickness or long term financial crises. Circumstances can appear dark, and we don't seem to have ability to overcome them. Things that used to be fruitful for us may no longer be so. The beautiful things we have enjoyed can fade during this time, just as flower petals and leaves dry up and drop. This winter time period can be a season of low energy and our passions may dull during this time.

The seasons of our life don't follow the annual timetable that we are used to in the natural realm. While a 3-5 month winter always signals a warming springtime, the winter season of life may extend for months or even years before a breakthrough comes.

How do you survive these sometimes long seasons of darkness and cold?

I believe that the natural gives us an indication of the spiritual. These are some keys to help you understand and survive the season of difficulty that we call the winter of our lives. It may come once or multiple times during your lifetime. It may be short and relatively easy, or it may prove to be a time that challenges you to keep your hope alive.

1. Winter does not produce death, just dormancy. 

In the natural realm, the trees and grass lose their lustre and leaves. They are not dead; they are merely dormant. Growth stops and they are resting. They slow their metabolism and conserve energy to survive. In like manner, though certain elements of our lives may feel dead at times, in the winter season they are only dormant. It is a great opportunity to rest from unusually busy and fruit producing seasons.

2. Winter reveals the parts of us that are not productive so that they can be pruned and removed.

As winter comes, the leaves and fruit drop from a plant, revealing spindly branches that are taking away precious nutrients and energy while not bearing any fruit. One description for pruning a hibiscus plant says to, "Remove any weak, diseased, or dead growth, as well as crossing or leggy branches. Branches that are growing toward the center of the plant should also be removed." It's interesting that self-centeredness is sometimes one of the issues that comes up during a winter season of life. We must allow the dead and non-fruit bearing parts to be stripped away so that we can focus on the positive, life filled parts. It may feel painful at first, but the future result be will more energy and more fruit. If you find yourself in a winter season, allow your life to be purged of negative or bitter elements so that only living vital parts remain.

3. Winter produces snow, an important source of water that will later nourish and encourage growth.

Snowflakes are one of the beautiful, magical attributes of winter. In spring, a rain shower is refreshing and produces a bright shiny reminder of growth. In winter, snow creates a picturesque display of purity and serenity. Snow, however, is also bitterly cold and sometimes dangerous. We must remember that this moisture is vital to what will occur in the next season of life. There are hidden seeds that have been planted in our lives that we may have been unaware of. These seeds have been deposited in the soil of our hearts. During winter and the dormancy that it provokes, they will collect the important moisture they need and will later have the necessary elements to encourage growth once winter is over.

4. Winter can feel like a solitary journey.

Hibernation is an animal's response to the colder temperatures. Winter in one's life is often characterized by solitude, self-reflection, and quiet. Occasionally the solitude can morph into feelings of isolation. The key in this respect is to use the solitude to reflect and dig deeper. Prayerful meditation and journaling are a great ways to express thoughts and feelings during these times. These allow the expression of pain, difficulty or loss, and that expression can open up a door towards healing and regrowth. The end result of winter will be the source of new growth in the next season of life. Additionally, a season of not producing fruit allows regeneration of the essentials in your life. It allows healing and the ability for roots to deepen.

5. The depth of adversity that we experience during winter will not exceed what we can bear.

Plants and animals have different capacities to tolerate cold. It is a protective element designed by God in their genetic makeup to keep them from being exposed to more than they can bear. Likewise, He will not subject us to more than we can sustain if we ask for His help. In Matthew 11:28 Jesus says, "Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls." We may have a difficult burden to bear, but we can find rest and help in the person of Jesus.

6. Cold forces a lower activity level, and sometimes things even stop for a time.

That is ok. We do not always need to be busy "doing" at every point of our lives. Energy saved from lack of activity can be stored for later times. When you feel cold spiritually, you need to do what you can to stay warm. The ground of your heart may seem frozen and hard during this time. There are things going on underground that you can not see. Allow those things to be cultivated and prepared for a later revealing in the next season. Much of that activity will be hidden, however, in the secret places of your heart.

7. Darkness is prevalent in winter. Purposely expose yourself to the light.

In natural winters that are especially dark, not having enough sunlight can lead to nutritional deficiencies and depressed emotions. It is an effort to brave cold conditions to expose yourself to sunlight. It is also an effort in the winter seasons of life to find uplifting, energy producing light-filled resources. It is necessary to our well-being, however, to search out the Son of God who gives light and life. In the times when you can not find the light and when you can't find your way, choose to stay with what you know. Sometimes staying where you are is the safest thing to do when you can't see where you are going. During winter, you may not see the answers to your questions clearly. You may feel fear, grief and despair during these dark times. It is through the reflection, the questioning, and the soul searching solace that you will come into the light of spring.

8. As you go through a winter season, do not neglect the routine everyday things.

A good friend of mine said that his routine during the winters in Cleveland, OH consisted of "Shovel, coffee, shovel, repeat." Shoveling snow is one of the daily monotonous (yet necessary) jobs that one must do in the winter. It is dreary, it is boring, and the cycle repeats every time the snow falls again. Continuing to do the necessary ordinary parts of your life like taking care of yourself, resting, eating well, taking care of your family, going to work, maintaining healthy relationships, and simply doing what needs to be done will help you to get through the dark and difficult days of your winter.

9. When winter goes on beyond what you feel you can bear, take a break.

Many people in very dark wintry locations take a break from the cold and snow to go away to another place -- somewhere warm that will re-energize them enough to get through the remainder of their winter. In a winter season of life, sometimes you need a break. Doing something that lifts your spirits can be life-giving and provide a boost to endure the rest of the winter.

10. Don't neglect to see the beauty of winter.

For anyone who rarely sees the expression of winter in giant snowflakes and icicle lined wonderlands, there is a magic in the natural beauty of winter. In our lives as well, there is a beauty and even a purity that emerges are we are tested and tried. Additionally in the season of winter, there are two significant events that can be sources of joy and emotional sustenance: Christmas and Valentine's Day. Recognizing the reality of Jesus during the winter of your life can bring a security and joy amidst difficulty. Additionally the love of God, shed abroad in our hearts, becomes real and evident throughout the dark days and even more so as winter nears the end of its chilly reign.

James 1:2 says that you should, "consider it all joy when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." Winter can work a beauty, strength, and faith in us that may not be gained any other way. That is a wonderful thing to remember during the cold, dark days of winter. Spring really is on the way.


"If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant; if we did not sometimes taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome."   -- Anne Bradstreet

Know Who You Are

Self-identity can be a very fickle friend.

Self-identity is defined as the recognition of one's potential and qualities as an individual, especially in relation to social context.

Social context would the culture that the individual was educated in or lives in, and the people and institutions with which they interact.

Self-identity.

One moment it is the cheering, boisterous agent that convinces you of your preeminence at what you do and catapults you to uniquely fashioned significance.

The next moment, it is the blended voice in a sea of criticism, suffocating you into a seemingly bottomless pit of uselessness.

Because of this natural tendency to identify yourself by your surroundings, by your peers, and by your own self-assessment, I believe that knowing who you are in the context of God's design and plan is perhaps one of the most important issues that can ever be faced and settled (and periodically re-settled) in the life of a believer.

When God defined Himself to Moses, He simply said, "I AM." Those two words can be very powerful words in our lives when we let God define us.

Despite the successes that I have experienced during my lifetime, I have struggled at times with self-esteem and worthiness. Recently, those issues became visible again when I decided to take a step towards re-entering the workforce after 20 years of staying home to raise my children. When I actually submitted myself to the analysis and scrutiny of a potential employer, I found myself lacking.

Lacking in up-to-date technical skills.

Lacking in stamina and focus.

Lacking in appropriate attire.

Lacking in knowledge of the "real" world.

I also came face to face with the core of my own message: that every person and every ordinary encounter of life, no matter how seemingly insignificant, has the potential to be powerful.

On the one hand, I felt confident and successful with half of the interview. I had performed well. On the other hand, I had failed to produce, having achieved only a fraction of my perceived potential. I felt humiliated. I felt outdated. I felt less than adequate. Adding to the pain was the interviewer's query regarding my ability to acquire new skills. "Since you are a little bit older..." Wait. Older? Where did that smart, focused, energetic woman go?

Self-identity had reared it's flighty head and I found myself spinning.

As I experienced the reality of lack, I began to really grapple with the issues God was getting at in my heart. What is my identity? What is my purpose at this moment in time?

When we feel success or when we feel lack, many times we are comparing ourselves and our performance to the social context around us. Paul called it comparing yourselves among yourselves. He said it was unwise. I love the New Living Translation's rendering of this text in 2 Corinthians 10.

"Oh, don't worry; we wouldn't dare say that we are as wonderful as these other men who tell you how important they are! But they are only comparing themselves with each other, using themselves as the standard of measurement. How ignorant! We will not boast about things done outside our area of authority. We will boast only about what has happened within the boundaries of the work God has given us."

Recognizing and defining the boundaries of the work and the authority that God has given specifically to YOU provides a solid standard to determining your identity, your direction, and your success.

As I walked through this stripping of my own ideas of my identity and the realization of my lack, I saw where God was really leading me.

He was leading me into Trust...

Trust in who HE created me to be.

Trust in the process that HE was taking me through in my life.

Trust that if I would ask and listen, that HE would lead me.

Trust in the perfecting of my very soul, engineered by HIM.

It was not about the job. It was not about how much (or how little) I knew or could learn. It was not about how well or how poorly I would perform. It was about His plan and purpose for the next step in my life. It was about a new look at my identity. The false foundations of my worth based on my own strength, my own skills or abilities, or my own idea of success was being burned away (again).

Now it's important to realize that I believe in excellence. In everything. I believe in preparation, in learning, in service, in diligence, and in faithfulness. I believe we should desire to be the best version of ourselves that we can be, aiming to become more adept at our strengths, and understanding our weaknesses so that we can attempt to improve them. Christ inside of us should exhibit no less than the very best of a uniquely created being.

So what was my answer in this confusing time of not measuring up?

The answer is that while cultivating excellence in our lives, we must find our identity separate from our successes or our failures, especially when compared to those around us. 

The answer is to look at the past, the present, and the future and find the common element of God's definition of you. It requires going much deeper and much more foundational. Who is it that God created you to be, and what is His plan for you in this moment? Can you hear Him saying, "Well done" or do you hear Him saying, "Follow me"?

I think He says both, in a perpetual motion. "Follow me. Well done. Now follow me."

He says "well done" not because we have succeeded or performed at a high level, passed a test or gained a position in a social context. He says "well done" because we have been obedient to what He asked us to do. The context for hearing these words is obedience, faithfulness, and stewardship with what we have been given.

When we quiet our minds enough to hear His voice, I do believe that He is continually asking us follow Him. He may be using a different route than we have previously been using. Following doesn't require knowing exactly where you are going. It doesn't require a special skill. It only requires the ability and willingness to hear or see where the leader is going and choose to go in that direction.

When things become all jumbled, confused, and unclear and when your emotions betray the logic and faith that have mixed together throughout your life to guide you in a forward motion, I suggest that you re-focus on what God has said about you. When you are tempted to listen to your own misguided memory and judgments to define you, resist the temptation. When you are tempted to let your successes or failures compared to others define you, resist that temptation.

Instead, dig down to find out what God says about you. Search for where God is leading you. Define yourself by letting Him finish the statement, "I am..." The definition of who you are can be altered or refined over time, so you must continually submit yourself to Him throughout the process of life.

Let God define your identity. Listen as He expresses His approval of you. And in that knowledge and security, follow Him forward.

Consider It All Joy

I'm a Parenthood fan.

For anyone who isn't familiar with this Thursday night show, Parenthood is the fictional TV saga of the Braverman family, a multi-generational potpourri of personalities, relationships, and challenges.

I was among the 5 million people watching as the 6th season, and the entire series, came to a close. For those fans who haven't yet seen the finale, I won't spoil the ending. But I will say this. The writers were able to conclude a long run with a positive, though slightly rose-colored, ending for each of the characters. As always, there were tears, and there were smiles.

Although it had dedicated followers, Parenthood was never a highly rated series. The reason for that is possibly the same reason that I liked it.

Why did I like the show so much?

It wasn't because they explored nearly every challenge that possibly can be faced in parenting kids including rebellion, learning challenges, bullying, unplanned pregnancy, abortion, adoption, substance abuse, and even teenage kids exploring various and sometimes destructive relationships.

It wasn't because they examined multiple scenarios that adults could encounter including job changes, financial struggles, health problems, cancer, marriage trials, single parenting, discontent, intrusive in-laws, and aging parents.

It wasn't because each character was uniquely developed to make the whole of the group universally relatable, with even birth order commonalities represented in the four adult children.

It wasn't because they led us into sheer joy at events such as the birth of a baby, young love, sibling trust, dreams come true, a touching wedding, and the unshakable support of family.

Though all of these elements made the show enjoyable, these were not the principal reasons I continued to watch. I was entertained by the drama and the uncertainty, but those ingredients were not the primary appeal for me.

The captivating component of the show was the realism.

In the desperate and difficult situations that emerged, we could relate. In the heartwarming moments of triumph, we could relate.

The raw emotion, the struggle to communicate, the confrontation, the realization and expression that life can be really hard, the achieved desires, the fulfilled dreams. Those elements of the show touched a deep human connection with adversity & accomplishment, a sense of camaraderie in grappling with and overcoming the challenges of life. The Braverman view of life was brutally honest, with no sugar coating. The most poignant moments on the show were intensified with obscure yet touching songs, some of them seemingly created for that exact moment in time.

Furthermore, the Parenthood answer to nearly every gut wrenching moment was the ever present reality of family. In that, my heart resounded with agreement.

You see, I'm also a fan of real life parenthood.

Though I have not experienced most of the actual issues on the show, I have experienced many of my own joys and struggles. There were moments while watching the TV series where I could relate. Perhaps not in the exact context they chose to portray, but in some way, I had felt the same feeling. Parenthood gave voice to experiences in my own journey of life that expose real parenthood as a curiously intense mixture of love, jubilation and pain.

Perhaps that is why the ratings were not so high and why the show periodically bordered on the brink of cancellation. Sometimes people do not want to be reminded about their own life and their own pain. Sometimes it's easier to imagine a different life, someone else's life.

There is one key difference in my own parenthood experience from that of the storybook family. When faced with difficult situations, I have a hope that endures. In the trials of life that I experience, I have a faith that anchors me. In addition to my family, I have God walking with me on my journey. With that comes a host of supportive friends and relatives who help me through the challenges.

James 1:2 says to "Consider it all joy when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing."

I know that difficulties test my faith. I know that the testing of my faith produces endurance. I also realize that I have access to wisdom that doesn't come from a TV show or from the best advice columns.

I am sad to see Parenthood, the TV series, go. But the final message they left us is true. However optimistic the show's ending may have been, I do believe there are real happy endings. I believe it because I have experienced the trials. I have gone through the difficulties. I have real life gut wrenching moments of indecision, turmoil, and pain. I have also experienced true joy and true contentment. I have seen real miracles in my life. Even in the difficulties, the result was endurance. My faith has been strengthened. And most importantly, I have encountered many happy endings along the way.

Life has challenges, but life is short. Life is too short to not pursue your dreams. Life is too short to waste a single moment that presents itself. Life is too short to fail to embrace and love the family around you. Life is too short to not live in the present reality, the good and the bad.

Life is too short to not consider it all joy.

Protected

I recently had an encounter with a great horned owl, an experience that touched something deep inside me.

On this particular day, I awoke much earlier than the rest of my family. With the recessed lighting on the dimmest setting, I relaxed in the solitude and quiet to enjoy my morning cup of coffee and read about one of the greatest men who ever lived: Abram.

Then in the predawn hours, I heard it just outside my back door. Who-h-who... who... who. (Listen)

My dog lay sleeping on her warm pillow, oblivious to the great nocturnal creature somewhere outside the window.

Noiselessly, I unlocked the door and tiptoed onto the deck. The sun was just breaking onto the horizon and the purple and orange glow was visible in the east. I could see the silhouettes of trees and houses, and I stood motionless in the morning chill. Then I heard it again. Who-h-who... who... who.

The owl was right there, not 20 yards from me, perched on the snow-tipped aspen branches, it's shape obscured by a smaller fir nearby.

To this lover of God's amazing creation, an incredible opportunity presented itself: to view the great horned owl, not in a cage, and oh so close.

Within 3 minutes, I heard it again. Such a beautiful sound, breaking the stillness of the night, the only noise except for a few early morning commuters. Carefully, I inched forward to see if I could catch a glimpse of the majestic creature.

I will tell you, however, that an owl's hearing is quite superior to my hearing. I observed the Aspen branches shake and bend beneath the owl's weight as he sprang into the air. Only milliseconds later, I saw his darkened shape swoop towards the ground, nearly touching the sparse snowy grass. He ascended quietly and effortlessly, and I watched briefly as he soared to a remote tree. I stood, transfixed to my spot, and after 5 minutes, I heard it again. This time the sound was more distant but again quite distinct. Who-h-who... who... who. A second voice returned his call from an outlying tree, much quieter and a little higher. Who-h-who... who... who. A female.

It was a beautiful experience as the sun peeked further above the neighboring houses. No one else was stirring. There were no other sounds. I stood and soaked up the scene until my body began to shiver and the sun exposed the day.

In the splendor of that moment, there was also a grave danger. The owl is a majestic bird, inspiring countless animal lovers to admire it's unique beauty. This creature is an avian wonder, unless of course, you happen to be a rabbit. Then it becomes a source of terror to be avoided at all costs. In the same backyard where I heard this owl, sat our black & white, lop-eared pet rabbit, Eugene. As I observed this lovely scene, he lay safely protected in his cage, most likely resting on his warm bed of straw, hearing what I was hearing only yards away.

I wondered if my rabbit felt fear as he heard the hoots. I don't think so. You see, Eugene sits under that fir tree every day, enjoying his daytime freedom, knowing that he is safe with our dog prowling the yard. The dog and the rabbit have a unique relationship. Our dog, Winnie has killed a wild rabbit that unknowingly entered our protective fence. But Winnie knows Eugene is different. He safeguards him from the hawks and owls that threaten his very existence.

Sometimes we are not aware of our own protection by our Creator. We feel that the limits of our life, our "cage," keep us from enjoying the freedom that exists. But I believe that our God is wise and sometimes does not answer all of our questions with a 'yes,' or allow us to experience all that we desire. He hears, sees and knows all that is around us. And he protects us, despite our occasional obliviousness.

We have a great protector, diligently watching over his creation. It is our responsibility to develop a loving relationship that opens up to us knowledge of and access to his loving protection. With that understanding, we can view what is around us with eyes of wonder, not eyes that see through fear.

Later that day, Eugene remained safe as the sun took full control of the day and the hoots were no longer audible. The creatures of the night -- the great horned owls -- were still out there. But their threat was lessened as the night had turned to day. Light causes them to fade into the background and wait until dusk comes again. Our rabbit was safe and gently cared for by his canine friend.

We too can rest, and be at peace, knowing that we are fully protected.

One White Girl's Perspective On "Selma"

On Thursday, Steve & I went to see the movie "Selma," a depiction of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.'s protest march from Selma, Alabama to Montgomery and his fight to gain voting rights for African Americans living in the South. We were commemorating his actual birthday by watching a powerful tribute to this extraordinary man.

There is no way to fully comprehend the depth of a person or event in 2 hours, but the benefit of a historical movie is exposure. Thousands of people can be transported to a time period that they may never have explored. Vivid images often remain for days, weeks or years after they are seen, occasionally spurring the viewer to learn more.

I emerged from the darkened theater with raw emotions. Racial injustice causes me deep pain. In some ways, I was ashamed to be white as I watched, repentant that in ignorance and small-mindedness, people of my race could be so cruel. I cringed when I saw the Confederate flag, knowing that a state I once called home still displays this flag at the state house. I also emerged with gratitude and hope. The result of this man's courage and perseverance still reverberates today.

I am fully aware of the history of our nation. I've read about it, and I have watched it on documentaries. Chances are that those from countries outside of the United States also know these dark parts of our history. The fact that multiple people groups have been subject to such severe mistreatment continues to be incomprehensible to me.

God created this amazingly beautiful diversity. You do not have to look far to see uniqueness on the planet. There are 900,000 different species of insects. Of those insects, there are 4,000 species of bees in North America alone. Just bees. The flowers that those bees pollinate come in nearly every color, shape and size, including the ones that produce the fruit and vegetables that we enjoy at our table. How much more is the magnificence of the diversity of the single element of creation that was made to think, feel, reason, and be in relationship with one another and with God.

I believe ignorance and fear lie at the root of racism. Bigotry is not a respecter of persons but rises against any who are different, whether by skin color, gender, beliefs, or age. Prejudice can highlight economic differences, social standing, and education. I despise these harmful forces.

I was struck by several elements of Dr. King's personhood during the movie. He was a deeply spiritual man, and most likely had some personal encounters with God. He loved his family fiercely, though his mission frequently took him away from them. He was unwilling to live with the idea that the status quo is all there is. He could also see the potential within his fellow man to live a more full life, and he fought for the right for every person to live up to that potential. He was strong and yet peaceful in his approach. He only wavered in his vision when he saw harm, injury and death come to those who walked alongside him. He had a dream, and he worked to see that dream fulfilled.

It takes courage to effect change, especially change in attitudes and ideas that are deeply held. It requires sacrifice. It requires commitment.

As was so poignantly portrayed on one of the bridge scenes in the movie, sometimes a leader doesn't follow a straight or well-defined path. At times, those following you do not understand your choices. A leader can be misjudged, misunderstood, disliked, and even hated at times. Though they are surrounded by throngs of people, leaders sometimes walk alone.

Dr. King's contributions to justice are indisputable. He made huge strides in righting wrongs that had been prevalent for years. But injustice still exists in our world in many different forms. We can be a voice of truth and righteousness in whatever sphere of life that we find ourselves.

"Selma" is not just about Dr. King. It is also about the brave men and women of all races standing together courageously to make our world a better place.

I encourage you to go see the movie. If you can't watch the movie, learn more about the man's life that allows you to have a day off from work on Monday. Allow the memory of Martin Luther King Jr. to spur you to have courage to be a voice. There is power in just one strong and clear voice of righteousness.

The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing. 

-- Edmund Burke

If Only

I was recently reminded of a phrase I read a few years ago that seemed to jump off the page as I read it.

If only...

The book was my Bible.

As I began to ponder this phrase, I realized that I was guilty of giving those very words voice, usually in the recesses of my mind. I had wasted precious time and energy wishing that my situation was different. You may even have thought or said some of these things.


If only I had more time or money.

If only my wife or husband would change.
If only I had a good friend.
If only I wasn't sick.
If only this day (or this year or this season of my life) would be over.
If only I had done better with my children, my job, or my finances.

If only things were different.


This mode of thinking can produce 2 different results.

Wishing things were different can cause you to feel perpetually discontented.

Consistently allowing your thoughts to dwell on what could be -- the 'if only'-- can rob you of living a satisfied life. Negative or missing aspects of your situation can quickly overshadow and diminish the real, positive ones.

But there is another more productive result of these thoughts.

Wishing things were different can propel you to look for and take a step towards a solution.

Whatever the circumstances that you face, there is hope for a change.

There was once a woman who faced considerable difficulty in multiple areas of her life. This woman uttered the phrase 'if only' that leapt from my Bible in Matthew 9:21. This woman had a real issue: it was an issue of blood.

The unnamed woman featured in this short passage was constantly bleeding, and had been in that state for 12 years. She had been to multiple doctors and no one knew how to cure her. Whatever her financial state before, she was now poor and destitute because she had exhausted all her resources trying to discover a cure for her condition. And it gets worse. To understand the extreme difficulty of her situation, you need to understand the times in which she lived.

Bleeding was a stigma.

Even during normal times of menstruation, a woman was considered unclean and had to separate herself from the rest of the people. She was isolated. No one was allowed to touch her for 7 days.

This woman had been deemed unclean for 12 years. Not only that, anything or anyone that she touched was also considered unclean. The emotional pain caused by isolation was just as significant as the physical ailment that she had. There is a reason that the punishment of solitary confinement is reserved for the most unruly prisoners. It is a punishment that is difficult to bear. In today's world, this woman would be like someone with Ebola -- quarantined and separated from everyone else.

For the woman who had been to numerous doctors, tried numerous remedies, and exhausted numerous hopes, she dared to hope again. She had heard of someone who was making people well. This man wasn't a doctor. He was a teacher. She set out to find him and discovered him surrounded by a crowd of people.

In the midst of this situation, she thought these words, "If I only touch his garment, I will get well."

Though she was physically weak, alone, and carried the burdensome weight of past disappointments, she wasn't looking at her state in discontent or despair. She could have supposed many things. If only I wasn't sick. If only I had money. If only there was a cure. If only I wasn't alone. She instead chose to dwell on the hope of touching a man who had the potential to make her well.

But she didn't stop there. Thinking 'if only' is merely the first step. She didn't solely imagine the possibility. With the little energy she had left, she quietly slipped into the crowd and reached out, just enough to touch the outer edge of the fringe of his clothes. Just the threads, the tassels. From behind. No one would notice.

Mark 5 records that Jesus immediately stopped and said, “Who touched my clothes?” He was in a large crowd of people, so everyone around him was touching him. He realized that someone didn't just brush against him. Someone purposely reached out to touch his clothes, believing that the touch would cause something to happen.

As for the woman, she knew instantly that she was healed. She felt it. As everyone stopped and looked around, she confessed, terrified and trembling, that she was the one. Why was she afraid? She had just experienced something incredible. Her fear came from knowing that what she had done, touching a man while she was unclean, was against the law. Those that were unclean were required to call out loudly as they walked, ‘Unclean’ so that everyone could get out of the way and avoid them. Not designating yourself as unclean, and then touching someone in your unclean state would defile the person you touched. She took an enormous risk in reaching out to Jesus. Her touch could render him unclean. She was exposing herself and the one she touched to further isolation, as well as potential judgment and punishment.

But Jesus did not condemn her. Furthermore, he did not receive her uncleanness. Instead, he healed her, and he praised her faith.

The faith required to overcome fear and choose to step towards hope creates an atmosphere for a miracle.

Many times the answer we are seeking comes much later than we desire. This woman had repeatedly reached out for a remedy. She had been disappointed many times, but she also refused to give up. She extended herself in expectancy again despite scores of disappointments.

The name of the woman in this story isn't revealed in the Bible. However, the primitive church deemed her important enough to give her a name: Veronica. Church legend indicates that she may also have been the woman who gave Jesus her veil to wipe the blood and sweat from his face as he made his way to the cross. It is also a traditional belief that the image of his face remained on that veil. This unnamed woman's faith and charity is honored even today as Saint Veronica.

We have many issues. We have limitations. We have difficulties. My encouragement for you is to look past your situation. Take your 'if only' and turn into something active -- a hope-filled step towards a better circumstance. Take your 'if only' and reach out to touch God. There won't be anyone standing in your way. Your faith and action can create the environment for something wonderful to happen.

It's a New Day: 8 Keys to Seeing Change in Your Life

As I was pouring my coffee this morning, a pink and purple glow caught my eye from the adjoining room. This radiance emanated the dining room: the one room where we don't close the blinds at night. As I gazed out the window, I encountered this scene.

A new day. A stunning new day.

Not only was the sunrise brilliant and inspirational, the peace and serenity of the snow was a perfect border to this majestic scene.

It's a new day. And the compassion and faithfulness of God are new every morning.

This is one of the reasons I love mornings. I am fresh, awake (after a few cups of coffee), and the day ahead of me is full of possibility. That includes possibilities for positive change.

We all have things about ourselves or our lives that we want to change. For me, the perpetual perfectionist, the list is always growing. Even when I do make an adjustment, there is always something else waiting to replace my newly checked off item.

How can you make a change that is real and enduring? I believe there are some simple keys that have proven effective in my life. These principles can be implemented regardless of the time of year or your stage of life.

1. Limit what you want to change. One thing at a time is ideal.

As I mentioned, the list of things we don't like can be enormous. Part of the reason that achieving a lasting change is illusive is that we are focusing on too many things at one time. Though the quality of being a multi-tasker seems to be highly valued, the real truth is that we can only do one thing well at a time. Yes, we may be doing 10 things at once, but how well are we really doing them? Decide on one thing you want to change and focus only on that one thing. The one goal can be really small like flossing your teeth once a day. (Don't laugh. It was hard for me to start this habit.) Setting a single goal leads into the next key.

2. Make sure the area you want to change is specific, reasonable, and attainable.

Too often our proposed changes are way too general. I want to lose weight. I want a better job. I want to feel pretty or handsome. I want my kids to listen to me. Achieving a goal requires measurable, specific steps. Instead of simply having a goal to lose weight, make the goal more clear. I want to lose 5 pounds in 2 months. I want to eat 2 servings of fruits/vegetables a day for 4 weeks. I want to limit my caloric intake to a specific number, making sure the goal is reasonable. In the career category, how would you achieve the goal of a better job? Is there a better job available in your company? Do you first have to learn a new skill? How would you do that? If you desire to change the way you feel about your looks, perhaps you could decide that you want to choose to dress in nicer clothes or try a new haircut. If the goal is to change how you feel about your self image, there are numerous ways to achieve that. Find a way that is attainable for you. A goal of having your kids listen to you could be better stated as a deliberate attempt to listen to them first. Perhaps you need to stop talking so much and limit your words so they can really listen. It may involve taking them out for a special treat 1 time per week to encourage communication.

3. Realize that your change can not be dependent on a change in someone or something else.

This is a common roadblock to true and lasting change. We rest our hope for a change in another person's behavior or a change in our situation. The only person that you can control is yourself. Allowing your change to be dependent on some variable has your success hinging on that variable. A variable is just that: variable. The word means, "liable to change," and not always in a way that you would like. Find a way to state your goal so that other people's behavior or a change in the situation is irrelevant to whether or not you bring about your change.

4. Have reasonable expectations about the time frame that is necessary for the change.

Some goals are easier to achieve than others. I had heard it said that a habit takes 21 days to become automatic. When I searched it out, I found that one empirical study revealed that it actually takes 66 days (or 2 months) for a habit to occur! Wow. In other words, that would be the bare minimum for lasting change. Some real change can take several months or up to a year to attain. Once you have set a reasonable time frame, stick to it. If your interval from start to finish is quite long, then set up intermediary goals to track your progress. Look for ways to gauge progress on long term goals, and give yourself credit for small successes. Anything of substance that can be changed or built requires diligence and commitment, and time is a very important factor to consider.

5. Start.

It may seem simple and obvious, but many people spend more time wishing they could change than actually doing the legwork required to bring about change. There is a danger zone called the 'paralysis of analysis.' We go over and over the problems without thinking of a solution to bring about change. Sometimes we just analyze the solution without taking any steps to implement it. Once you define and determine your goal, just dive in. It can be scary at first, because getting something moving is much more difficult than keeping it going, according to Sir Isaac Newton.

6. Reward yourself for successes, however small.

Don't let discouragement or difficulty deter you from your commitment. Recognize any small level of success, and when there is a setback, get yourself back up and moving again towards the goal. None of us can do life perfectly, so plan for some mistakes. You must also remember: making a mistake or slipping out of your newly acquired habit doesn't mean you have failed. A few mistakes don't affect the long term results. If you taking two steps forward and then an occasional one step back, then you are still making forward progress. Celebrate that. One word of caution. Don't let any rewards you give yourself undermine the goal. For example, the perk for sticking to your diet should not be going out for a big dessert.

7. Get help. Identify encouragers who can cheer you on and get them on your team.

Change is difficult. Despite our best intentions and efforts, we all need encouragement when things become challenging. Friends or family who have the ability to remind us of our success, not our failure can bring a dose of a "can do" attitude when we need it most. Knowing who those supporters are in the beginning will help you to stay accountable as well.

8. Recognize and access God's strength and power in you through prayer.

I left this key for last because it is the one that is most important, and the one I want you to remember. God created you with purpose and destiny. Your ability to achieve that purpose is super charged by a vital living relationship with Him. All through the process of change, this faith will support and boost your efforts. It is the foundation, and it is the fuel that will strengthen you along the journey.

I am purposely ending up where I started. It is a new day, and the mercies of God are new for you.

I encourage you to read the rest of Lamentations 3 as you consider a change. "The Lord is my portion," says my soul, "Therefore I have hope in Him."

With that foundation in mind, today is a good day to make a change. What will your change be?