Start Anew, and Build Too

It's that time of the year again. Out with the old, and in with the new. It is the natural ending to one calendar and a logical beginning to another. Many people use this time of year to start afresh. All the mistakes and unfulfilled hopes of the previous 12 months can miraculously be wiped away when the clock strikes midnight. Whoosh. A new year. A new opportunity. A new you.

Spoiler Alert. The stark reality is that it is just another day in the continuum.

But alas, the beginning of a new year does indeed provide a unique opportunity. For at least a day or two, it feels like we all have a little more time: time to reflect, time to think, time to evaluate, time to plan. For a few days after the rush of the Christmas season is over, our hectic lives slow to a crawl, gracing us with the chance to dream of all things new.

In response, we make New Year's Resolutions. These proposals can initiate an illusive journey that commences with a clean slate. It gives us a chance to believe that we really can begin (or end) those habits that we believe will revolutionize our lives. Gym memberships skyrocket. Plans are devised for healthy eating. Vows are made to save more money, be more kind, stop procrastinating. Will power is accessed as we silently chant along with the little engine, "I think I can, I think I can..."

But before you break into the mad dash towards 2015, I want to encourage you with something different while it's still 2014.

As you stop and reflect, find something good that was birthed in 2014.

Paul said in Philippians, "Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things." Even if you experienced a difficult year, I'm pretty sure you can find a pearl. Look for that gem, however small it may be.

And then...

Carry that gem with you into 2015, and build on it.

In my experience, it really is easy to start something new. For a day or two. Or even for a month. It takes incredible force, willpower, and energy to keep it going when it loses its novelty. A research statistic that I read recently said that only 8% of people are able to actually follow through on their new year's resolutions and be successful. Yikes.

Maybe you're one of those that begins each year with a hefty, optimistic list of resolutions. I've definitely done that. But sadly, 3 months into the new year, I find that my gusto has fizzled along with the melting snow.

Here's a different approach. What if you springboard into the year with the momentum of something you've already started? What did you do right this year? What can you celebrate and build on? Before you look forward, look at where you are, and look back to see how you got there. Instead of replanting lots of new ideas, fertilize the things in your life that are bearing fruit.

Consider this. Perhaps it's not the right season for some of the things you want to initiate.

I remember several bygone Januarys when I vowed that THIS would be the year for me to start an exercise program. I would commit to myself to start working out regularly. I would envision that I could get into shape. I even invested in the necessary gear to make it happen. Cool workout clothes, check. Yoga mat, check. Dumbbells, check. Calorie burner watch, check. Workout plan, check. The problem for me was that some of those years were times when my kids were little, and my energy level was not only low, it was non-existent. Try as I might, this idea was doomed from the start because my idea of what I could do far exceeded the reality of what was possible in that season of my life. The timing of my great and wonderful resolution was terrible. Additionally, if the truth be told, I did not really want to do it. It was something I felt I should do, or something that would be good for me.

Here's another reality check for you. Guilt rarely produces fruit.

Last year, I decided to focus on starting merely one new thing. I began this resolution immersed in the flurry of new year's electricity that seems to permeate the atmosphere. I also capitalized on the winter hiatus to jump start my change. The resolution I devised was to become an avid reader again. I was that passionate reader many years ago, but I allowed the circumstances of life to ebb away this value expressed in my life. Though I've currently lost count of how many books I've read this year, I can say that I've read a lot: articles, editorials, classics, mysteries, biographies, inspiring documentaries, and many other riveting tales. It felt as if a part of me came alive again. It turns out that this reading resolution was the foundation for another long awaited resolution that didn't begin until much later in the year: writing. As for the exercise routine, my husband is the one who successfully followed through on this positive change. He also managed to be consistent without all the workout accoutrements I mentioned above. As a result, a part of him has come alive again too.

As I go into 2015, I have 3 resolutions. Two of them will build on the things I started in 2014. There has been so much fruit, and I am inspired to go deeper. Only one of my resolutions is new.

Perhaps this is the year for you to gain momentum instead of starting over.

Sometimes we can't make significant progress in an area is because we overlook areas of growth. Amidst our desire to start something new, we abandon our progress and in so doing diminish the fruit that is possible.

As I propel myself into 2015, I have written my private celebration of 2014 on a small stone which I will use as a reminder. It is my memorial stone, my stone of remembrance. I wrote about this in a very short blog almost 2 years ago called Milestones and Memorial Stones. I'm taking my little stone with me into 2015. I have high hopes of even greater fruit in 2015.

Celebrate the goodness of God in what you have accomplished this past year.  As you reflect and make your resolution list, look at how you can take the goodness from 2014 with you into 2015 and build something lasting and something wonderful.

Collect Experiences, Not Things

I remember the Christmas when...

How would you fill in the blank? I would predict that it probably would not be with the name of a gift you got on a certain Christmas. More than likely, you would complete that sentence with a significant memory you have had during this time of the year. 

During the holiday season, it's hard to not get caught up in the bombardment of commercial attitudes. The economic jump start to the season, 'Black Friday', now encroaches into Thursday, Thanksgiving Day, despoiling the focus on gratitude, values, and family. The marketing enticements of sales, lower prices, must haves, and the like can become overwhelming.

I recently read an editorial called Abundance Without Attachment in the New York Times. The contributor, Arthur Brooks, is a researcher in economics, politics and enterprise. Sometimes God speaks to me through the least likely people. This was one of those times.

Brooks made 3 simple points about avoiding the materialism trap. The first point was like a burning bush to me, an epiphany that became even more significant as I turned aside to ponder and listen for its message. It was a straightforward phrase.

Collect experiences, not things.

I've contemplated that expression in the quiet of my thoughts. I've also listened for it as my own family reminisces with laughter around the dinner table. I've smiled as my grown kids ask repeatedly for more of the ordinary experiences that symbolize Christmas to them. Baking cookies, playing board games, seeing Christmas lights, decorating gingerbread houses, attending a candlelight service, watching It's a Wonderful Life, and choosing simple gifts for siblings hold special places in the hearts of our family.

I've reflected on my choices for spending money this Christmas. Aside from ornamental boxes and bows under the tree, does my time and spending reflect this value? Am I collecting memories instead of simply more stuff? 

I believe that I am.

Even my grocery bill mirrors this value. It's not because we necessarily eat a lot or because we choose expensive food options. It is because I understand that mealtimes morph into memories, and their value reaches far beyond the absorption of vitamins and minerals. Our family gatherings around the table are imprinting moments in time. My small investment into candles and tablecloths over the years creates atmosphere in my home that blends into a sensory holiday experience.

We choose to allocate part of our Christmas budget to family outings. Sometimes the jaunts are nearby, and other times they are extended trips. These outings can not be wrapped up or tied with a bow. We're collecting more experiences, ones that solidify relationship, that highlight family, that invite reflection, that create opportunities to see and discuss the true meaning of Christmas.

Yes, there are gifts under the tree, but perhaps more than the gifts, the anticipation of Christmas for us is being together, remembering that we do have a wonderful life, and knowing that our Savior has made a way for us. 

Remembrance is truly powerful, particularly at Christmas. We remember Jesus, born in a stable, as we read the Christmas story. We remember our favorite Christmas traditions, and we relive them. 

One such example of a bygone Christmas experience occurred about 10 years ago. In a well intentioned attempt to thwart the gift counting and comparison amongst my 5 children, I came up with an elaborate letter-number coding system for the presents. Instead of putting names on the gifts, I had a unique 'code' indicating whose gift it was. I was the only one in possession of the decoded list, which consisted of perhaps 20 individualized codes. As you might expect, this brilliant idea did not have the intended effect I had hoped for. Though none of my kids remembers specific gifts they received that year, to this day they will never forget the dreaded 'secret code' of Christmas!

Materialism is not the only thief of the true Christmas spirit. Many have experienced terrible loss or trauma during this season. It is real, and my family is not immune from this. The negative experiences can collect to mar the beauty of the season, for some to an almost unbearable level. If this is your current experience, I encourage you to invest in a new experience, one that will supplant the pain of previous experience. My sister is a beautiful example of this. Several years ago just before Christmas, she tragically lost her husband. December has since been a difficult month both for her and her family. This year, she bravely invested in creating a new memory. She opened her home to family and friends in a simple pre-Christmas drop in party. She allowed laughter and friendship to supplant grief and pain. She collected a new experience, perhaps one that will continue throughout the years. Additionally her daughter also brought joy into a difficult time by announcing her engagement. A time that once held pain and loss now holds hope for the future. 

Collecting experiences doesn't just include what you do with your own friends and family. We are fortunate for be a part of a school in Denver that focuses on giving. In the last 2 weeks, our school collected over $3000 in loose change, and through additional small donations of less than $5, raised enough money for 25,000 meals for the hungry and homeless in our area. My daughter was one of those that helped to pack the meals. 

Jesus was very clear on collecting things.

"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys, and where thieves do not break in or steal; for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."

I imagine that first Christmas night was full of sounds, smells, and sensory life. The emotions, the people who were there, the things that happened. Yes, there were gifts given, but it was the experience not the things that defined this day of all days. That is our example as we live out our own lives.

I believe we can have a small part of heaven here on earth, with God inside of us and His value system affecting ours. I hope you will further your collection of experiences this season.

Love deeply, and focus on what is truly important.

Oh What You Can Do With One Educated Girl

Imagine, for a moment, that tomorrow your life is different. Imagine, for just a moment, that the most difficult thing you can remember in your day today is the easiest thing you will encounter in the day tomorrow. Your home, your family, your security: those things would not exist like they do now. Your worries today of finishing a project at home, work or school, your difficulties with a teenage son or daughter, your challenges with a toddler whose will defies your own, your frustrations at traffic or shopping lines... Those concerns pale in comparison to the lives of some of the least in other parts of the world. Imagine, for a moment, you are a young, uneducated girl living in an impoverished country.

For a growing number of girls in countries such as Pakistan, Afghanistan, India, China, Cambodia, Thailand, the Congo, Ethiopia, and many other nations, the statistics are staggering. "It appears that more girls have been killed in the last fifty years, precisely because they were girls, than men were killed in all the wars of the twentieth century. More girls are killed in this routine 'gendercide' in any one decade than people were slaughtered in all the genocides of the twentieth century." Slavery is still very real. One recent statistic I read said that, "there are 3 million women and girls (and a very small number of boys) worldwide who can be fairly termed enslaved in the sex trade." I know it's hard to imagine that this terrible reality is still in existence, but alas the slavery market is alive and well. Percentage wise, "far more women and girls are shipped into brothels each year in the early twenty-first century than African slaves were shipped into slave plantations each year in the eighteenth or nineteenth centuries -- although the overall population was of course far smaller then." Many of slavery's victims today are those tender girls who are just reaching puberty.

I've been reading over the last few years about some of these girls, girls who are like me in their XX chromosomes but are separated from me by innumerable fathoms of the ocean, by age, by culture, and sometimes by skin color. These are simple girls, and some of them find themselves in the most horrible of situations. I've always believed that even one person can make a difference, and the stories I'm reading bear that truth out. I am beginning to comprehend the possibility that transformation in some societies may be packaged in the frail frame of a little girl -- and in those people who choose in some way to help her.

There are some books that impact my heart, books that change my mind, and books that are catalysts for further transformation. The first one of these that I recently encountered was Three Cups of Tea. I read this one a few years years back when it was left behind as the product of a misplaced but well intentioned Christmas gift. The book sat collecting dust and eventually found its way into my hands and my heart. This biography begins with failure. Oftentimes life brings failure. We fall flat at something that has driven us and consumed us. In our desperation, we cry out to God to give us purpose, vision, and direction. At times, the new purpose is not what we had envisioned. Instead, God sends purpose to find us in our defeat. In this case, the failed attempt of one mountain climber led to the eventual establishment of many schools in rural Pakistan and Afghanistan. Because of those schools, many children (especially girls) are learning for the first time. These children are growing up, and the culture and opportunities in the village are improving. Change is happening. And it all started with a failure.

What can you do with one educated girl? Better yet, what can you do with a whole village of educated girls? And why girls? Why is educating girls such a big deal?

In countries like the ones that Greg Mortenson visited, girls are considered second class citizens. They are not allowed what we might consider basic human rights. Education for these girls is considered frivolous and a waste of time. When Mortenson happened upon one of these remote villages, the boys in the village were scratching in the dirt with sticks during their daily school lessons. The girls were not involved. In a world where social justice continues to gain a greater voice, people are standing up for these children. When girls learn, they have useful skills to aid in their work. "Evidence is mounting that helping women can be a successful poverty-fighting strategy anywhere in the world." When girls work in impoverished communities, economies can change. Goldman Sachs has said, "Gender inequality hurts economic growth." When economies change, cities and countries can change. It can all start with educating a girl.

During the summer, I encountered another heroine who began her life as a girl in Pakistan with a father who believed in her. She was bright, and she desired above anything else to learn. She unfortunately happened to live in a place where girls were not allowed to learn. Her name was Malala Yousafzai. Eventually, her courage and faith caused her to be targeted by one of the the largest terrorist networks in the world: the Taliban. I have wondered why educated girls would be so threatening to grown men, men who have guns, criminal networks, and above all, a weapon of intimidation and fear. Besides faith (which is primary), a mind is a powerful weapon that God has given us. After recently recovering from a terrorist bullet to the head, this 16-year-old girl spoke to the United Nations and gave these words, "Let us pick up our books and our pens. These are our most powerful weapons. One child, one teacher, one book and one pen can change the world." (I Am Malala, p. 310) She went on in 2014 to become the youngest recipient of the Nobel Peace Prize.

The current book I am reading is perhaps the most challenging book of all. It is full of true stories, and they are gut-wrenching. Half the Sky is a bittersweet collection of reality. There are some atrocious endings, but there are some satisfying endings, as well as hope for the future. The premise of the book comes from a Chinese proverb that says, "Women hold up half the sky." In essence, women contain valuable assets that contribute half of what our world needs to thrive. Tragically, females are being victimized and exploited in many parts of the world. As I read the accounts of girls who are being sold and trafficked (some by their own mothers), as I encounter girls who are kidnapped, and as I see that childbirth in developing countries can leave a teenage girl maimed for life, I am heartbroken. I have to stop reading for a little bit. I have to gain my composure and catch my breath. Then I experience gratitude. I do not have to worry that my own girls may be pulled from their school or from our neighborhood and kidnapped. I do not have to think about the terrors of gang rape for my own daughters. But I do have to think about society. I do have to think about my role as an agent of change, empowered by God to do my part.

For these girls, they do not know that another life exists. They are stuck in a perpetual life of modern day slavery. The solution is not simple, but for those willing to try, there has been progress. Fear and illiteracy are the powerful weapons that these groups of darkness wield. Fighting them is difficult and fraught with the potential for bodily harm, exile from families, and even death. The rewards of education, courage, support, and faith, however, are invaluable and are helping to begin to turn this dismal tide.

In a short passage in Mark 5, we see clearly that Jesus cared about a little girl. Her father begged for healing for this little girl. As a result, we encounter a miracle for a 12-year-old girl who was desperate, not unlike the modern-day girls I've described all over the globe. A little girl can make a difference, just like the little girl who was instrumental in Naaman's healing. She was a slave, but her life was significant. She spoke into the life of the commander of the army of the king and helped set the stage for a great wonder.

We have ability to help. One 14-year-old girl was rescued from a brothel for $150. Another 15-year-old, physically disabled by rape and birth complications, received a surgery for $300 that allowed her to live a normal life. Many reputable organizations offer ways to get involved on a short term or long term basis. Above all, we can pray. We can pray for justice. We can pray for equality to the degree that no race or gender is demoralized or extinguished. In Revelation, the dragon awaited the birth of a baby to devour it. Regardless of your eschatology, it is apparent that an unseen evil force is seeking to devour anything pure, innocent, and young. An evil force desires to devour our world's young girls.

Our own education must mean something too. Learning about these girls is the first step towards societal change.

We must be responsible with what we know and with what we have.

We must remember that faith does triumph over fear. Every time.

Added to faith and courage, educating little girls is one of the biggest differences we can make. One person can make a difference. I encourage you to explore how you can be a part of that difference.


Authors Note: Quotes in this post are primarily from the book, Half the Sky by Nicholas B. Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn. This book and the others mentioned here are available at many popular bookstores.